My last thought before hitting the car in front of me : Maybe I’ll die

My first thought after hitting the car in front of me: Shit.. I think I’m breathing

Then the panic set in

"This is different. I do not have the energy to pull myself free. I do not have the energy to even care that I am trapped. This is beyond caring, beyond the will to die, beyond will. Death is there, but you can barely lift your hand to reach out for it, and you cringe at the faintest suggestion of light. You can wish for death, but it is like wishing for sleep, a sense of exhaustion so profound that your whole body aches. And just as sleep does some exhausted nights, death eludes you. It is right there. You feel it. But it won’t come close enough. And if you have the energy to cry, that’s why."
- (via rabidrotter)
"How much do you weigh?" he asks.
“Not enough.” I sniff. “Too much.” A sob escapes. “I can’t tell"
- Wintergirls, Laurie Halse Anderson (via getbetterr)
"I want to go to sleep and not wake up, but I don’t want to die."
- Wintergirls by Laurie Halse Anderson (via quotemybooks)
"Just eat healthy, drink lots of water, and exercise. It’s that simple."
- Typical response I get when I think I can trust someone enough to tell them that I’m anorexic. Like yea that really fucking helped, I’m cured now.  (via little-tiny-doll)

I’m really worried because the pain meds I have to take for the next few days have to be taken with food. This is a problem because I’ve gotten to a point where I go for days only having two or so super low calorie lattes. Seriously I haven’t had solid food in two days and I’m freaking out about tomorrow.


So I got in a bad car accident today and my brother drove me home from the hospital. When I got home my dad gave me a hug.. my mom didn’t even look at me. Just shows how much of a disappointment I am to her.